End of year wrap-up
This year, 2024, has been a bit of a wild ride for me. Generally speaking, the years pass by with relative ease, but this seems to have been a particularly eventful one - one that I likely won’t forget any time soon. I suppose every year has a bit of the ups and downs that tend to happen in life, but it feels as though a lot was crammed into this year. So, I thought I’d take a moment in this space to unravel some of it just a bit as everything is a bit knotted in my brain at the moment.
It started with a request from an art friend who invited me to join her in an attempt to post on social media every day in 2024. Because neither of us are particularly good at posting (I believe I am even worse than she in this regard), we thought it would be good to have someone to check in with us if we weren’t following through. She lasted about a week (maybe two), and I think I made it just shy of two months before it fell apart. Apparently, neither of us are good at social media updates or as good check-in people. ::sigh:: But, I will say that we both did much better this year than we normally would. In fact, I posted more this year than I have in all the years combined from the past, so I will take that as a win!
My personal goal for the year was to apply (and hopefully get in to) more art events. Historically, I have not been the best at reaching out to other cities/areas for festivals and such, so I really wanted to branch out a bit beyond my comfort zone. The early part of the year was full of many applications and lots of photo-taking in an attempt to be able to get out and share my work more. Early-on, I understood that I am not a great photographer, and that is likely an area that I would do well to get some training. I received many rejections, but a few acceptance notices as well. Some wanted my tableware, but not my sculpture (which was heartbreaking to me because sculpture is what I love to make), others didn’t want me at all, and a few were ready to have me as I was, terrible photos and all. I wasn’t able to get to quite as many places as I had wanted, but I did spread my wings a bit, wandering to other locations within the state, and found that there were both positive and negative aspects to the festival/market circuit. I will say, I am impressed that there are those out there who can do these with regularity. It’s a great deal of work and the outcome is very hit-or-miss (or at least it was for me).
I did meet some fantastic people everywhere I went, and having the opportunity to connect was amazing. Most of my time is spent alone, creating, so having the chance to converse about my work was motivating and encouraging (for the most part). I do know that I need to work on allowing the positive to stay with me and on letting the negative go; but letting go of those few, small “bad” moments can be challenging, to say the least.
By mid-year, I knew we (in my household) were going to be moving, and that was an entirely stressful thought. Having just moved into our home and my new studio less than two years prior, I wasn’t prepared to have everything upended. However, the move was necessary and so I mentally prepared for what was to come. The move also came with a complete renovation (which is still in process - and will be for some time), and despite what some seem to believe, we don’t really enjoy that activity (though it is necessary and will eventually be a wonderful finished home). It is physically taxing and time-intensive, both of which take a toll on the ability to create. I had hoped that I would be able to make my new studio space the way I wanted before starting back to work, but quickly realized that there was no way I was going to be able to do everything as expeditiously as I wanted. So, the new space remains rather uninspiring, but is at least functional for now. I do look forward to (hopefully) getting to transform it over the winter months, or at least at some point in the coming year.
Unfortunately, not long after our move, my partner lost his job and that created another level of anxiety and stress, not to mention a bit of a slow down for renovations. Even doing the work ourselves, we still need funds for materials (not to mention simply living), so although we continued to work through this project, we were looking forward to the day when he finds a new employer and there is a bit more financial stability restored to day-to-day life.
One of the more fun things that happened this year was being asked to participate in Fettle & Fire’s newest endeavor to bring community together through monthly make-along sessions at her studio. We had our first class in November, the second in early December, and are looking forward to continuing to lead these in 2025. If you have interest in fun, anyone-can-do, ceramic activities, you can find the latest offerings here.
The highlight of the year was absolutely the year-ending Handcrafted Holiday Market at the Boulder County Fairgrounds. I have participated in this event in the past, however, this year was particularly special. In a year when I have (on a more-than-usual level) questioned whether or not I should continue down this path, I was fortunate to have many wonderful people stop by my booth/space at this market. I had some of the best conversations - not only about my work, but about art and creating in general - and at a time of year when I am typically drained and needing a break from anything remotely creative, it inspired and motivated me to want to get right back to work.
While touching on the topic of feeling unsure as to the future of my work, I used to pen a blog about bicycles. For many years I wrote about my experiences attempting to find the right bike(s) for me and my life, as well as sharing the sometimes harrowing experiences of riding along side cars and trucks on the road, and even wrote about the occasional bike race or event. I once shared my feelings about participating in races and stated that only one person can win a race and most of us participate for other reasons - to challenge ourselves, to participate in an event for fun, to motivate ourselves throughout the year/season, or still other reasons. I find some similar comparisons to and within the art world.
The art world can be such an interesting, challenging and hair-raising place. To even define the word “art” I find myself cringing just a bit. My degree is in art, I went to school to be able to use the skills to create the thoughts always floating in my brain, but ultimately to define the term is trickier than one might initially believe. Yes, I could provide a somewhat typical dictionary definition, but how do individuals define art? Is something not considered art if an individual doesn’t like it or appreciate it? Does art have to have deep meaning? Can anyone create art or is it the task of a selective, “chosen” few? Is art simply something that touches us in some way, or is it something else entirely?
Personally, I struggled with all of these thoughts as I worked my way through art classes years ago. I chose, at that time, to concentrate on painting because it felt like that was what an artist was supposed to do - to paint. Even after experiencing a myriad of classes outside of painting itself, including jewelry making, ceramics, photography, sculpture and others, most of which I dropped out of before completion, I struggled to think of anything outside of drawing or painting as my major. Perhaps it was my own mental inferiority, but I thought that if I could excel at drawing and painting, that would prove that I was in fact an artist.
One problem for me became apparent fairly early on. It wasn’t that I couldn’t draw or paint (though I struggled initially with fearing that I wouldn’t be able to do so), but rather that there was an expectation - from both professors and fellow students - that whatever works I made have deep, emotional, and often depressing/dark meaning. Sometimes, I wanted to create these types of works, but on the whole, I was more interested in finding small beauty or oddities in places or things often ignored, and that by simply drawing or painting that particular item, I had found the meaning. The act of simply creating it on paper or canvas was enough to satisfy me and bring the thought to life. My thesis board highly disagreed with me and it’s still more than a bit surprising that I was able to get through that portion of the process at all.
Interestingly, that struggle hasn’t changed much as I’ve lived in a world of making three-dimensional objects for the last several years. There is still an expectation from some that there will be significant and/or deep meaning. And, sometimes there is, but I have to wonder why so many believe that it’s a requirement? There is so much darkness, pain and struggle in the world that I can’t help but believe there is some benefit to having art that simply makes us happy, whether it comes with a deeper message/meaning or not.
Similar to my explanation for participation in bike races, my belief is that for a large portion of participants art can come in many forms and isn’t necessarily going to allow for multiple “winners.” We find our wins or value in the small moments, the things that we are able to (at least somewhat) control. We look for connections with others who feel drawn to our work - for whatever reason(s). We put a piece of ourselves into everything we make and hope that it will resonate with at least one other person. Or, this is at least my theory. We keep making because there is a pull inside of us to get it out into the world, whether one person appreciates it or millions.
I am so filled with gratitude for this year - both the positives and negatives. It’s not been an easy year, but it has permitted me the opportunity to learn some lessons and solidify why I continue to make what I do. I am entirely grateful for those who have continued along on this passage with me, and so happy to have brought some new individuals into the progress and process as well. Although I cannot guaranty anything for the future, I am looking forward to what comes next and continue to be thrilled to find those who want to travel along beside me.
Wishing all a happy holiday season and a productive, healthy and creative new year! Thank you so much for being a part of the journey.